Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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