am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you win again, gameday.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
