sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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