what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize