He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
