happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
