I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
