i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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