I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
