You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
