I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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