we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
