It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
