My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize