now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i drank out of a bidet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
