it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
