we have officially lost it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
