i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
