and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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