Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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