well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
