If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize