at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
