I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
