Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize