So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
