I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
