Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
