Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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