I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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