zippers are such a cool invention
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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