The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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