you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
