so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
