We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Do vagina's smell?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
