his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Floor bacon is actually really good
God I need to hump something, right now.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
