my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think I am morally bankrupt
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
