me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
