conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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