Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
