hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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