She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
