i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
