Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
