Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
