woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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