Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He has the fingertips of a God
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