Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
