You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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