seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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