don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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