dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This is classic penis vs brain.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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