My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize