i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
