Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
