So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize