you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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