Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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