Are we in a gay sports bar?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
