Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
