this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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