Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
