Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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