We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
