I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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