She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
