I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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